A Lecture On Heads

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Now, in the first place, they have called a kitchen my client's premises. Now a kitchen is nobody's premises ; a kitchen is not a warehouse, nor a wash-house, a brew-house, nor a bake-house, an inn-house, nor an out-house, nor a dwelling-house; no, my Lord, 'tis absolutely and bona fide neither more nor less than a kitchen, or, as the law more clas- sically expresses, a kitchen is, camera necessaria pro tisus cookare ; cum saucepannis, stewpannis, scullero, dressero, coalholo, stovis, smoak-jac...ko, pro roastanduvi, boilandum, fryandum, et plum- pudding mixandum, pro turtle soupos, calve's- head-hashibus, cum calipee et calepashibus.
" But we shall not avail ourselves of an alibi, but admit of the existence of a cook-maid. Now, my Lord, we shall take it upon a new ground, and beg a new trial ; for, as they have curtailed our name from plain Mary into Moll, I hope the court will not allow of this ; for, if they were to allow of mistakes, what would the law do ? for, when the law don't find mistakes, it is the business of the law to make them.


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