Abe Martins Almanack

Cover Abe Martins Almanack
Abe Martins Almanack
Kin Hubbard
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The band gets out and plays and the boys, decked out in their flashy uniforms, receive many a shy glance from the starched belles of the village and vicinity; the hook and ladder company makes a spurt or two up and down Main street and stacks on the public square while some member, clad in home-made "tights, " climbs the ladder with all the agility of a squirrel. The greased pole contest is easily the most enjoyable event on the program and the crowd fairly takes on a purple hue from convulsive... outbursts of laughter.
The speaker's stand is located exactly in the center of town in order that all of the storekeepers will have an equal chance. It is draped with cheap bunting and a picture of George Washington. The orator of the day is generally a young and struggling lawyer who had spoken for the honor months ahead or at the time the saloon men first thought of having a celebration. He is arrayed in a glossy, tight-fitting Prince Albert and a white lawn tie, and when he rises to speak he shines like a trained seal.


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