All My Friends Are Going to Be Strangers: a Novel

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She was a short, robust redhead whose real name was Mrs. Norwich. Flap Horton had nicknamed her Dame Juliana. She had never much fancied me, but she ran the library and I did my best to coexist with her. She was the only bosomy librarian I had ever known. In horny periods I had fantasies about her in which I generously gave her not only much better legs than she really had but a far more loving disposition too.
The couch I had gone to sleep on was in the PR section, which was English literature.
... A thirty-nine-volume set of John Ruskin was shelved just at my feet. I had often meant to dip into it, but when I sacked out in the library I was almost never sober enough to read.
“I thought you got married,” Dame Juliana said. “Even if you’re as smart as people say you are I don’t see that it’s our place to provide you a bed.”
“No ma’am,” I said. “I guess I just read too late and fell asleep.”
“Nobody could get that scruffy reading,” she said. I might be clean-cut to Sally, but I was anything but to Mrs.


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