Coco Pinchard, the Consequences of Love And Sex: a Funny, Feel-Good, Romantic Comedy

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‘In here,’ I said shouting from the living room. I’d dropped the remote control ten minutes previously, and was still trying to pick it up. However much I bent forward or sideways, I couldn’t get my arms past my bump to the floor. She came through holding another door key and a plastic bag.
‘’Ere, look!’ she said, ‘I’m psychic. I brought you a grabber!’ She pulled a long green grabber out of the bag, caught the remote in its pincers, and dropped it into my hands.
‘Thanks Ethel,’ I said. ‘Let me
...pay you for it.’ ‘Didn’t cost me nothing love. The little dwarf lady on the ground floor popped ’er clogs the other day. ’Er relatives are all tall, so they didn’t want it.’ ‘Oh, thank you. What did she die of?’ ‘She fell face down in the bath and drowned. The warden found ’er. Stiff as a board reaching out towards the plug with the grabber…’  I dropped the grabber on the coffee table. She perched on the side of the sofa. ‘I brought you some bits too, save you shopping.’ I took the plastic bag and had a look inside.

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