Everybodys book of English Wit And Humour

Cover Everybodys book of English Wit And Humour
Everybodys book of English Wit And Humour
James Gregory Mumford
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" When he came to the inn the master bespoke a couple of fowls ENGLISH WIT AND HUMOUR. 69 for supper, and when they had supped, told the clerk to pay for them according to agreement.
"Oh, sir, " said he, " where is your good witness ? " An Unanswerable Argument against Bigamy.
At one of the schools in Cornwall, the inspector asked the children if they could quote any text of Scripture which forbade a man having two wives. One of the children sagely quoted in reply, the text, " No man can serve
...two masters. " Preventing the Scapegrace from Sharing in the Will.
" Now, Mr Lawyer, " said the dying man, " I want you to settle it in my will so that my son Joe won't get a shilling. He is a worthless fellow, and will spend his money in a week. " " Oh, that's all right, " said the lawyer, politely, " I'll take care of that. I'll see that he doesn't get anything. " And he didn't. Neither did anybody else.
How to Eat Pine-Apple.
The following story is told of a Conservative M. P. , who, wishing to conciliate an old captain of a mine, a voter, sent him a splendid pine-apple from his hothouse.


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