Fifteen Years in Hell

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I was determined to satisfy myappetite, and with this purpose subjugating every other, I went on toLewisville, where I remained for more than a week, drinking day and night. Finally one of my brothers, hearing of my whereabouts, came after me andtook me home. I was so completely exhausted the moment that the liquorbegan to die out that I had to go to bed, and there I remained for sometime. After such debauches the physical suffering is intense and great; butit is little in comparison with the t...ortures of the mind. After such aspree as the one just mentioned, it has generally been out of my power tosleep for a week or longer after getting sober. I have tossed for hours andnights upon a bed of remorse, and had hell with all its flames burning inmy heart and brain. Often have I prayed for death, and as often, when Ithought the final hour had come, have I shrunk back from the mysteriousshadow in which flesh has no more motion. Often have I felt that I wouldlose my reason forever, but after a period of madness, nature would bemerciful and restore me my lost senses.

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