Five Years of My Life

Cover Five Years of My Life
Five Years of My Life
Dreyfus, Alfred, 1859- [from Old Catalog]
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December 3, 1895.
I have not yet received the mail of the month of October.
Digitized by VjOOQIC i8o FIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE A gloomy day with ceaseless rain. The air full of tangible darkness. The sky black as ink.
A real day of death and burial.
How often there comes to my mind that excla- mation of Schopenhauer at the thought of human iniquity : — " If God created the world, I would not care to be God." The mail from Cayenne has come, it seems, but has not brought my letters ! . . . Nothing to
... read, no avenue of escape from my thoughts.
Neither books nor magazines come to me any more.
I walk in the daytime until my strength is exhausted, to calm my brain and quiet my nerves.
December 5, 1895.
What does conscience count for nowadays ?
To think there are men who call themselves honorable, like that man Bertillon, who has dared to swear without compunction that since the handwriting of that infamous letter slightly re- sembles mine, therefore I alone could have penned Digitized by VjOOQIC ALFRED DREYFUS i8i it.


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