Funny Boy Versus the Bubble-Brained Barbers From the Big Bang

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The president had put planes, helicopters, and limousines at my disposal so I could get to the barbers at a moment’s notice. Fortunately, I wouldn’t have to go far. I called the White House and the President told me that the barbers were now in Toronto, Canada.
“They’ve already removed most of the world’s hair,” the President said mournfully. “North and South America are all that is left.”
“They’re going to pay for this!” I said. “Get it? To pay? Toupee?”
“You’ll need to be a lot funnier than th
...at, Funny Boy,” the President replied. “You’re our last hope.”
The seriousness of my mission had hit home with me. I was starting to feel funny again. Jokes were welling up inside my brain, ready to burst out and reduce even the most serious villain into a convulsion of giggles.
I called Bob Foster at work and he rushed home. We put Punch in her little cage and took a government jet to Toronto. From there, it was minutes by limousine to the Rogers Centre, where the Toronto Blue Jays baseball team plays.


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