If I Grow Up (2009)

Cover If I Grow Up
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  “SOME ASK US WHY WE ACT THE WAY WE ACT WITHOUT LOOKIN’ HOW LONG THEY KEPT US BACK.”—FROM “RIGHTSTARTER (MESSAGE TO A BLACK MAN)” BY PUBLIC ENEMY A SHORTY FALLS The shouting and screaming outside started at dinnertime. We were sitting on the living room couch, eating macaroni and cheese, and watching Judge Joe Brown on the TV. Between the banging of the heat pipes and the noise outside, it was one big racket.
“DeShawn, turn up the sound,” Gramma said. I put my tray on the couch and turned up th
...e volume. The TV was old, and no one knew where the clicker was anymore. It was just me and Gramma that night. My big sister, Nia, was out with her boyfriend, LaRue.
Outside the yelling got louder and the police sirens started. Gramma flinched and put down her fork. She shook her gray head wearily, and the skin around her eyes wrinkled. “Noise around here is gonna make me lose my mind.”
I glanced toward the thick green curtains that covered the window. Ever since gangbangers cocktailed the apartment down the hall, Gramma had kept the curtains closed all the time.


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