Just You

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It was as if he didn’t even know I was there. But I knew he did know, and I knew he needed me. I touched his hand. It was shaking, but he didn’t grip mine, instead his hand lifted and his fingers ran over his hair about four times as he whispered. “Bullshit.” I didn’t know what to say. There was nothing I could say to help. But last year, I’d walked out on a load of shit and tried to cope alone–he wouldn’t want to be alone. I kept pace with him, hurrying as he walked fast. “Fricking shit,” he br...eathed. I didn’t answer. On the subway train, when I sat down, he took the seat facing me and bent over, his hands gripping his head. There were only a few other people in the car but they weren’t near us. His fingers spread bracing his head as he looked at the floor. What could I do? I didn’t want to intrude on his feelings, but he looked in agony. I wanted to touch him, to reassure him. To try and make it better; even though there was nothing I could do or say that would do that.

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