Keeping Secrets (2014)

Cover Keeping Secrets
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Summer slid into fall, the rains began, and Emma closed her eyes to Jesse’s affair with Caroline. If she didn’t admit that she knew, she wouldn’t have to deal with it. And since she wasn’t sure she really wanted him, but wasn’t willing to let go, either, since she couldn’t decide whether or not to get off the pot, she pretended to be deaf, dumb and blind, and she coasted.
There were some rewards. In the place of the intimacy of their early days there was a sort of calm. Jesse seemed kinder, more
... solicitous, less fractious. Well, he was getting what he wanted, she guessed—whatever that was.
Sometimes she stood off and looked at her teaching, her cooking, her long tight body, and she thought, Let Jesse go, why not? You’ll be exactly where you were before him, just a little further along. And wouldn’t it be delicious, to take a good deep breath without feeling that he was worrying at you about that thing he had so long referred to as your secret part?
As in: “There’s a secret part of you, Emma, that’s self-possessed and far away.


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