Killer Christmas Tips

Cover Killer Christmas Tips
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Think of this holiday icon as the greeter at Wal-Mart: a welcoming sentry, arms open, and just a little scary, what with that crazy leer on its face.
Building one is simple, and fun to do! Pack a snowball tightly in your fist, and roll it into a very large boulder, placing it near your walkway, within close proximity to your front stoop. This is its legs. Do the same with a second one, just slightly smaller, and place it on top of the first one. This is its abdomen.  A third boulder, about a thi
...rd the size of the second one, will serve as the snowman’s head. Decorate it with a top hat (really, any hat or cap will do), buttons or stones for eyes and its mouth, a carrot for its nose, and perhaps a pipe. Trimmed branches make for sturdy arms.
However, I wouldn’t hang a machete or the machine gun on its arm. Yes, it makes for an arresting tableau, but it may give your guests the wrong message.
Just sayin’.
  Jack’s funeral is a simple affair.
The lack of any identifiable remains in the blast dictates a closed coffin, so that’s a no-brainer.


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