Let's Pretend This Never Happened: a Mostly True Memoir

Cover Let's Pretend This Never Happened: a Mostly True Memoir
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I looked at my outfit unhappily in the mirror, but Laura assured me I just looked like a mysterious spy. I stared at her suspiciously. “Or like a homeless woman who just wandered into a fancy cocktail party?”
She looked at me objectively for a few seconds. “Maybe a little,” she admitted. “But way more like a spy.”
I have good friends.
All twenty of us sat around an open fire pit in our pj’s and no one was tweeting, or texting, or on the phone. We were all forced to make conversation out of desp
...eration, because cell coverage was so sporadic there. Surprisingly, it came naturally, and no one looked panicked but me. The booze helped. I whispered to Laura that this was the closest I’d ever been to sleep-away camp, and that this was exactly when the serial killer would be deciding whom to pick off. We decided that the girl on our left would be the first one to be murdered, because she was frail and adorable and the audience would love her. I would miss her. The girl in the cabin next door would be next, because she’s a buxom hot blonde, but she’d probably ask her roomie to help her shower up first, because you have to be naked for the second murder, and that one’s always the most violent.

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User Reviews:

Guest 5 years ago

i couldn't finish the book ,no too many unneccessary explanation .. BORING!!!!!!! .............................................................

Guest 5 years ago

The reader is given a tour of life with mental disability and how the author has learned to tolerate, barely manage and ultimately appreciate the benefit of not being 'normal.' Lot's of funny scenarios, peppered with profanity, imagination and an illuminating description of what happens when anxiety creates an uncontrollable cascade of events, and dialogue along the lines of Turret's. However, this reader tips their hat to the bravest and funniest character, Victor.

Guest 6 years ago

Such a fun book!

Guest 6 years ago

Loved it 0/10 I rate it a

Guest 6 years ago

10/10

Recommend to a friend.

Guest 6 years ago

0 to 5 to 10 zero out of 10

Guest 6 years ago

hahah

Guest 7 years ago

I wish the author would suck my dick

Guest 7 years ago

11/10

Guest 7 years ago

5/10 no you meen 10/10

Guest 7 years ago

I LOVE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Guest 7 years ago

10/10
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