Letters of Mlle. De Lespinasse, With Notes On Her Life And Character

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I restrain the passion you excite iu my soul ; I say to myself incessantly : " He will not respond to it, he will not under- stand me, and I should die of pain." Can you conceive, mon ami, the species of torture to which I am condemned ? I have remorse for what I give you, and regrets for what I am forced to keep back. I give myself up to you, but I do not give myself up to my own feeling for you ; yielding to you, I nevertheless battle within myself. Ah! can you under- stand me ? can you know
...through thought what I feel, and what you have made me suffer? Yes, you will have a return towards me, because you have the sensibility that feels an interest in the unhappy and pities them.
But I know not why I thus unbosom myself for an in- stant; I know that I shall find no comfort in your heart.
Mon ami, it is empty of tenderness and feeling. You have but one means of lifting me from my troubles : it is that of 102 LETTERS OF [1774 intoxicatiiig me, and that remedy has been the greatest of my misfortunes.


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