Obsession (Endurance)

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“You can’t watch her every moment, honey,” Dad added gently.
These were rational statements but I worried constantly that something would happen to her.  That I wasn’t going to be allowed to keep anything good and clean from that horrible day filled with degradation and pain.  I just wanted one little thing.  I had Theresa check her each day.  My staff was enthralled with the baby.  Bianca and Padme changed her clothes several times a day.  Since I was constantly putting her in new outfits, we h
...ad to buy a lot of spare outfits.  Katie didn’t cry.  I don’t mean she was just good.  She did not cry.  I got in the habit of checking her diaper so she never sat wet.  I set timers to feed her because she didn’t fuss.  Si and Fiaaz often sang to her.  Silly songs they made up to describe what they were doing.  When I was writing, I kept her in a bassinet beside me and absently rocked it with my foot.  The biggest surprise was how Jordan and Jonas were with her.  They held her constantly and talked to her as if she was able to understand them.  Since she stared at them in rapt fascination, maybe she did.  When I saw them with her my heart would clench painfully.  As I distractedly rubbed the heel of my hand over my sternum and raised my eyes to meet Jordan’s, the intensity of his gaze held me still.  I felt like a gazelle faced with a lion.  An instant later I dismissed my foolishness as juvenile and misplaced.

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Obsession (Endurance)
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