Off to the War! : An Original Farce for the Times in One Act

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{Exit C^SAR, 2 ^.n., pursued hy Betty.) Re-enter Mr. Doddle wobble (1 e.r.).
DoDD. Well, this has been a blessed day for me. This is a delightful sort of life for a patriot and a Doddlewobble to lead. But I'm determined not to stand it : I'll pack up, and get out of the way at once. {Going, l.) Enter Fudgit (2 e.l.).
Fudgit. {Looking around mysteriously.) Humph !
Dodd. Halloo ! another adventure ! Who can this be ?
Fudgit. Hu^h ! , , Dodd. It's cursedly annoying, that a man is to be so per- pet
...ually hushed at in his own house. Well, sir, what's your business ?
Fudgit. Hush ! It's all right. You're Doddlewobble.
Dodd. Well, what of it ?
Fudgit. I'm here ! {Mysteriously.) 2* 18 OFF TO THE WAR.
DoDD. Mysterious and incomprehensible mortal, do you think I'm blind ? I see you're here. The fact that you're here is exceedingly gratifying, or no doubt ought to be ; only I can't see it, for the soul of me, in the same light. Your intelligence is very remarkable. You first tell me I'm Doddlewobble ; and, next, that you're here.


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