Operating Instructions (2011)

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The advice nurse at Kaiser said lots of babies get little coughs from all the teething drool, but I would swear he’s just doing it because he can, like that Eddie Murphy routine where he says, “You know why male dogs lie around all day licking their balls? Because they can. If I could do that, I’d never leave the house.…” Sam will look at me suddenly with great concern and go, Cough cough cough, quiet and tragic, and then look at me expectantly, and I’ll say, “Oh, Sam, honey, that’s an awful cou...gh,” and he looks terribly pleased. Then his eyes grow wide again, and he goes, Cough cough cough.
His eyes are very dark and huge. Most of his body is taken up with these eyes.
My friends and I did a food review again after all these months. I loved being out with my gang again—Peg, Leroy, Bill, and Emmy—and for the first couple of hours I loved being away from Sam. I felt once again like Zorba the Greek, with my arms stretched out to the sky, dancing to balalaika music. Everyone was very funny.


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