Past Tense

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I never should have left Evie alone on Saturday without clearing the air. Finding Larry Scott’s body and then being interrogated by the state police had spooked her, and she’d reacted in a perfectly normal way—by taking her frustrations and fears out on me. I should’ve understood that. I shouldn’t have taken it personally. I should have insisted that she let me carry her luggage inside. Then I should have hugged her and held her and told her I loved her. I should have let her be angry with me if... she wanted, and I should have waited while she cried or beat on my chest with her fists, or yelled and cursed, if that’s how she felt.
I should have been there for her, even if she didn’t want me to be.
Instead I’d shrugged and left her there, alone with her anger, or her fear, or whatever it was she was feeling. So she had gone inside, dumped her duffel bag on the floor, and called her lawyer, and when she didn’t reach her, she … what? What had she done?
Disturbing scenarios bounced around my brain all night, and I slept poorly.


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