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Trials, indeed! Now I'll tell you what--ef you want to be sick of your life, Jest come and change places with me a spell--for I'm an inventor's wife. And such inventions! I'm never sure, when I take up my coffee-pot, That 'Bijah hain't been "improvin'" it and it mayn't go off like a shot. Why, didn't he make me a cradle once, that would keep itself a-rockin';And didn't it pitch the baby out, and wasn't his head bruised shockin'?And there was his "Patent Peeler, " too--a wonderful thing, I'll sa...y;But it hed one fault-it never stopped till the apple was peeled away. As for locks and clocks, and mowin' machines and reapers, and all such trash, Why, 'Bijah's invented heaps of 'em but they don't bring in no cash. Law! that don't worry him--not at all; he's the most aggravatin'est man--He'll set in his little workshop there, and whistle, and think, and plan, Inventin' a jew's-harp to go by steam, or a new-fangled powder-horn, While the children's goin' barefoot to school and the weeds is chokin' our corn.
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