Protocol for a Kidnapping

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He approached almost at a lope, his short torso thrust forward, his face screwed up into a twisted advertisement of anger and disapproval. I stopped and waited for him. He halted before me, locked his hands behind his back, teetered up on his toes, and when he spoke his voice was a bitter, petulant charge. “I have been waiting for more than an hour.”
“Did we have an appointment?”
“You have heard from the kidnappers.”
“Ah,” I said.
“Well?”
“Let’s make a deal.”
“Deal?”
“A trade, a transaction.”
“W
...hat kind of transaction?”
“I’m sure that there’s some old Yugoslav tradition that calls for a drink during negotiations.”
“I know of no such tradition,” Bartak said. “If one drinks, one drinks after negotiations, not during.”
I took his elbow and turned him toward the bar and toward a drink I did not want. “Let’s fly in the face of tradition,” I said.
“Fly?”
“Where did you learn English?”
He stopped. “What is wrong with it?”


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