Punch, Or the London Charivari, volume 99, December 6, 1890
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" Then there follows a list of the things she has bought, Though I'm puzzled indeed as to what it may mean. She is painfully pat in her jargon of satin, Alpaca, nun's veiling, tulle, silk, grenadine, And she asks me to say if I honestly think She should die in pearl-grey, golden-brown, or shrimp-pink? So here I am left in this pitiful plight. With nothing but dresses, what _am_ I to do? For I haven't a notion what kind of emotion Is suited to coral or proper for blue; And if, when she faint...s, but they think she is dead, Old-gold or sea-green would be better than red. Will crushed strawberry do for an afternoon call? For the evening would salmon or olive be right? May a charming young fellow embrace her in yellow? Must she sorrow in black? Must I wed her in white? Till, dazed and bewildered, my eyesight grows dim, And my head, throbbing wildly, commences to swim. 'Twere folly and madness to try any more, I know what I'll do--in a letter to-day I will just tell her plainly how utterly vainly I've striven and struggled to finish her play; And then--happy thought!--I will mildly suggest That she'll find for her purpose BUCHANAN the best.
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