Punching Tom Hanks: Dropkicking Gorillas And Pummeling Zombified Ex-Presidents---A Guide to Beating Up Anything

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“You mean I don’t get to try my hand at pummeling this jerk? Why even put him in a book, then, if I can’t go punch him?” we’ve all said at one time or another.
Just to be safe though, here are the nuts and bolts on how to beat up plenty of long-dead dicks. After all, time travel is just around the corner, better to err on the side of caution.
HOW TO BEAT UP ZOMBIE ABE LINCOLN If you’ve been online even a little bit the past month you know one topic has been dominating the conversation. Namely, s
...hould the actions of a post-death, “Zombie” Abe Lincoln tarnish the many legislative achievements of his historic political career? My opinion? A little bit.
Not enough to erase all the good he once did, but c’mon, biting the face off a bus driver and six Italian tourists is not an easy thing to smooth over. That’s not an ideal situation, for even an alive politician, still in possession of his tongue and the power of speech, who could possibly defend the act. It’s hard to imagine that drooling, shambling, dull-eyed wreck of a thing as the once proud man who defeated the secessionist Confederate States of America in the Civil War.


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