Scotch Wit And Humor Classified Under Appropriate Subject Headings

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" '' I dinna ken, " replied the chafed and mystified witness ; " Wad ye say the question ower again, sir?" Jeffrey being baffled, Cockburn took up the exami- nation. He said : " Ye kenned Taniiuas ?" " Ou, ay ; I kenned Taminas weel ; me and him herded together when we were laddies. " " Was there onything in the cretur ? " " Deil a thing but what the sjjune ])ut in iiim. " " Would you have trusted him to sell a ct)W for you ? ' ' " A cow ! I wadna lii)pened him to sell a calf. " Francis Jeffrey... could not, if he had devoted an article in the Edinburgh Review to the subject, have given a more exact measurement than was presented in few words of the capacity of the testator to man- age his own affairs.
" Invisible and Incomprehensible " First Scot : " Fat sort o' minister hae ye gotten, Geordie? " Second Scot : "Oh, weel; he's no muckle worth. We seldom get a glint o' him ; six days o' th' week he's envees'ble, and on the seventh he's encompre- hens'ble. " Fetching His "Character" At a Scotch fair a farmer was trying to engage a lad to assist on the farm, but would not finish the bargain until he brought a character from the last place, so he said : " Run and get it, and meet me at the cross, at four o'clock.


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