Sekhmet's Curse (Pearl Vampire Chronicles)

Cover Sekhmet's Curse (Pearl Vampire Chronicles)
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over and over.
    They came and quietly sat next to me, Matt on my left side, Carlos on my right.  “Sarah,” Matt began.
    “Don’t,” I whispered immediately, I had to stop him.
    “Don’t?  Don’t what?  Don’t speak?”
    I nodded my head, “Yes.”
    “Sarah, what’s going on?  This isn’t like you.  Why don’t you want me to talk?”
    “Because, if you talk then you’ll want me to talk,  and I can’t do that, not right now.  I just can’t.”
    “Honey,” Carlos began, “this isn’t you.  Communicating is
... something you do better than anyone I’ve ever known.  Why can’t you talk right now?”
    I could feel the dam in my chest beginning to crack and crumble.  I started shaking my head, I tried to will that dam to repair itself, but when the first sob escaped my lips, I knew I was fighting a lost cause.  “Because, because, because I can’t handle not being the strong one.  I can’t handle not being the one who has to fix things.  I can’t handle being the one who needs help.  I can’t handle feeling vulnerable.  But I can’t be strong anymore.  I’m exhausted.  I’m scared shitless right now and I don’t want you guys to see that.  I don’t want you to feel like you have to make me feel better.  I have to make you feel better.  That’s who I am.  That’s how I survive.  I try to fix everyone around me.  But when I need fixing?   When I need help?  I can’t handle it.   So, I shut down.  I internalize everything.  I pull away from loved ones.  Because I don’t want them to feel pressured.  I don’t want them to feel like they have to help me.  I just can’t handle it.  I can’t be a burden on you.  I just can’t.”


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