The Atheist's Mass

Cover The Atheist's Mass
The Atheist's Mass
Balzac, Honoré De, 1799-1850
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'Shall I ever take a cup of coffee therewith milk in it?' said I to myself, 'or play a game of dominoes?' "I threw into my work the fury I felt at my misery. I tried to masterpositive knowledge so as to acquire the greatest personal value, andmerit the position I should hold as soon as I could escape fromnothingness. I consumed more oil than bread; the light I burned duringthese endless nights cost me more than food. It was a long duel, obstinate, with no sort of consolation. I found no sympath...y anywhere. Tohave friends, must we not form connections with young men, have a fewsous so as to be able to go tippling with them, and meet them wherestudents congregate? And I had nothing! And no one in Paris canunderstand that nothing means _nothing_. When I even thought of revealingmy beggary, I had that nervous contraction of the throat which makes asick man believe that a ball rises up from the oesophagus into thelarynx.
"In later life I have met people born to wealth who, never having wantedfor anything, had never even heard this problem in the rule of three: Ayoung man is to crime as a five-franc piece is to X.


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