The Best American Poetry 2013

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ALLYN ROSSER Intro to Happiness They were dressed in distressed denim, legs crossed and notebooks open.
I wished I didn’t have to explain how difficult the course would be, but I soldiered through the syllabus assigning seventy chapters on sighing, thirty-three articles concerning slings, forty-nine on arrows, countless miserable passages they would be obliged to internalize to get to, and appreciate, the happy ones.
To a hand raised in the back I explained why joy—post-pubescent joy— was reserv
...ed for more advanced classes.
To avoid any further confusion I laid out the irrelevance of carnal thrills and blisses originating in ignorance— acknowledging the latter represents the layperson’s misconstruction of happiness.
Next I dwelt conscientiously on how familiar the lectures would begin to sound, on the study groups that would dissolve in tears, lamentation, or dispirited gazing at walls.
I was just getting down to the nuts and bolts of quizzes on terms they’d be using the rest of their lives, plus oral presentations on the three Ds (depression, despair, and ’ddiction) that would prepare them for therapy, when it became necessary for me to pretend I didn’t notice as one by one they slunk with downcast eyes out the double doors.


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