The Best of Joe R. Lansdale

Cover The Best of Joe R. Lansdale
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Lansdale Fire Dog When Jim applied for the dispatcher job the fire department turned him down, but the Fire Chief offered him something else.
“Our fire dog, Rex, is retiring. You might want that job. Pays good and the retirement is great.”
“Fire dog?” Jim said.
“That’s right.”
“Well, I don’t know…”
“Suit yourself.”
Jim considered. “I suppose I could give it a try —”
“Actually, we prefer greater dedication than that. We don’t just want someone to give it a try. Being fire dog is an important job.
...
“Very well,” Jim said. “I’ll take it.”
“Good.”
The Chief opened a drawer, pulled out a spotted suit with tail and ears, pushed it across the desk.
“I have to wear this?”
“How the hell you gonna be the fire dog, you don’t wear the suit?”
“Of course.”
Jim examined the suit. It had a hole for his face, his bottom, and what his mother had called his pee-pee.
“Good grief,” Jim said. “I can’t go around with my…well, you know, my stuff hanging out.”


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