The Village Post-Office ..

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Can you tell me the difference between wit and humor ?
Pat. Begorra, it's loike the difference betwane whin yir woife tickles ye undher the chin wid a sthraw from the broom and whin she hits ye over the head with the handle of it.
Col. Wonder what Mandy Baker thought 'twas when she tackled me one day last summer. I hed the toothache and wuz a-lyin' with my face down in the grass out in the sun front of the house and she come along, didn't know me, thought it wuz some one drunk, so she began giv
...ing one of her temp'rance lectures with a hull lot of figgers telling how one glass of beer put out to int'rest in David's time would amount to millions and a lot more figgers. I was feeling purty ugly with thet old tooth aching like all possessed, so I jest turned over on my back and sez, sez I, "No, I don't know nothin' 'bout them figgers and don't want ter but I've gut a few figgers of my own I'll give you. If you don't vamoose two hundred and twenty- five feet in two seconds I'll hit you ninety-seven times and make you see a million stars," and she vamoosed lively, now, I tell ye.

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