Twenty-One Days in India; And, the Teapot Series

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Thisunhappy creature, whose mind is a perfect blank regarding_Faujdari_[Y] and _Bandobast_, [Z] and who cannot distinguish themolluscous Baboo from the osseous Pathan, will actually presume todiscuss Indian subjects with you, unless strict precautions be taken.
When I meet one of these loose M. P. 's ramping about I always cut hisclaws at once. I say, "Now, Mr. T. G. , you must understand that, according to my standard, you are a homunculus of the lowest type. There is nothing I value a man for
... that you can do; there is nothing Iconsider worth directing the human mind upon that you know. If you askfor any information which I may deem it expedient to give to a personin your unfortunate position, well and good; but if you venture toargue with me, to express any opinion, to criticise anything I may begood enough to say regarding India, or to quote any passage relatingto Asia from the works of Burke, Cowper, Bright, or Fawcett, I willhand you over to Major Henderson for strangulation, I will cause yourbody to be burnt by an Imperial Commission of sweepers, and I willmention your name in the _Pioneer_.

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