Unclean And Spotted From the World

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1 feared to keep it lest my courage fail. It must go. I would send it, though deep in my heart I knew it was a lie.
Hate him! When every fibre of my body, every instinct of my soul longed for him, longed with a fervor that fright ened me. If he had wronged me in the eyes of the world, he had also loved me. Ah ! I knew that only too well. But the physician was coming and I must not falter. I knew that in order to save myself from one sin I must commit an other. The Ten Commandments were explicit
.... I must break one commandment in order that I keep another. For the sin of covetousness was mine, for my whole heart was hungering, pleading for a forbidden love; even while I was false to myself in pretending to hate.
There were no explicit directions so far as I knew, as to which one of the commandments it was preferable to observe, and failing in one, why not in all? For I could not deny that I worshipped with my whole soul the man more than the Creator.
Yet even while I faltered, trying to find excuses, beneath them all lay a purpose, inexorable, unyielding, and I knew that though I fell fainting by the way that I must go.


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