Underneath

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‘Hey Joe, did you hear? We can pay to hit your mother in the face with wet sponges. Don’t need any practice, do you, Love? We could always go out in the garden and hit you with the bath and kitchen ones?’ ‘Ha, bloody ha. I’m not being pelted. I’m the money collector.’ ‘It’s a good job with your 36Ds. The husbands’ would all be skint, the wives’d swap the sponges for rotten fruit, and the kids’d be scarred for life.’ ‘Aren’t you jealous about me towelling down Seb Kingsley?’ ‘What am I supposed t...o be jealous of? Joe says he’s lame. You’re hardly planning on putting his arms in the stocks to have your wicked way with him are you?’ I huff and waltz into the kitchen to do the packing up. Niall follows me in.
    ‘Don’t suppose you can borrow those stocks?’ He grins.
    ‘Only thing on you I want to lock up is your mouth,’ I fire back.
    ‘Kinky,’ he replies, smacks me on the rear and returns to his favourite chair.


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