Upgunned

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There was an imp poking my brain with a fondue fork. All it ever said was time to go. I stared at the tiny photo of myself. Blue background, bad lighting, the way I’d look in a mugshot.
“Julian Hightower?” I said.
“Yeah,” said Tripp Bergin. “That’s you now.”
“Where the hell did you get a gay name like Julian Hightower?” I said. Then I emptied the skinny Russian vodka glass, in memory. The vodka was subzero and caused an instant brain freeze. It made me crave an equally poisonous Eastern Bloc cig
...arette.
“Just watch the end credits of movies,” said Tripp. “One from column A; one from column B. Match the first name of a stuntman with the last name of an accountant. Take a bit-parter from the beginning and a thank-you from the end. Voilà. Cheers.”
We were warming a booth at LAX’s Terminal 5, waiting for the New York flight to JFK. LAX is called that solely because airports came to need three-letter designations; before that it was just called “LA.”
Tripp was one of those film industry lifers who wanted to demonstrate how aggressively he did not care about losing his hair.


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