You Can Date Boys When You're Forty: Dave Barry On Parenting And Other Topics He Knows Very Little About

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You get to work at home, be your own boss and wear whatever you want.
FACT: Ernest Hemingway wrote The Sun Also Rises wearing a penguin costume.* Another benefit of being a professional author is you also have complete freedom to snack. I eat as many as forty-five distinct snacks per day. My typical schedule is, I spend several minutes working on writing something (this sentence, for example) and then I’ll think to myself, quote, “Snack time!” Then I’ll head to the kitchen to see what’s availabl
...e. There is basically nothing in my kitchen that I have not, at one time or another, as a professional author, smeared peanut butter on. I include pot holders in that statement.
And then there is the pay. It is excellent. I’m not saying that you will, right off the bat, with no author experience, make the kind of money Stephen King makes. Achieving that level of success can take, literally, months. But the potential is there, especially if you are a fast typist, because the standard practice in the writing industry is to pay authors by the word.


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