Zombie Sharks With Metal Teeth

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A beak here, a tentacle there, claws all over. Gina kept pushing for bilateral symmetry, and I held my tongue for as long as I could—this wasn’t her idea, after all—but finally had to say it over ordered-in boxes of noodles: that this is a nightmare creature we’re foisting on the world, right? It’s not supposed to conform to biology as we know it. That’s specifically what’s terrifying. Gina chopsticked another mouthful in, showing off that she could—of the two of us, I’m the barbarian—then shrug...ged and explained that bilateralism is particular to two things (chew, chew): whether or not the monster walks upright, might need to balance in some ‘crazy, unmagical’ way, and what gravity field it developed in. And of course it had to walk upright. Chase scenes are completely unexciting when the creature’s just clumping and oozing and looming behind. Sometimes I hate her. But I wouldn’t be doing this with anybody else, either. So, again, I told her sure, sure, this monster was going to be terrestrial, definitely, homegrown, and it was also going to get around without leaving a slime trail.

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